Jared the Paramedic

Chapter 3: The Bear and the Eagle

When morning came, the two of them woke up in the same position they had fallen asleep in.  When Jared began to stir, Liam stirred as well.  "Hmmm.  What a way to wake up in the morning," Liam said looking at Jared, "I don't remember a thing."  Liam looked a little at a loss and asked, "Was I good?" 

Jared laughed and said, "You needed rest more than anything else last night and that's all you got. How do you feel?"

Liam sat up and stretched, exposing his muscular tanned chest and spoke, "I feel great.  Good sleep and the bonus of waking up next to you is perfect." 

"Not to break the moment, but I need a morning piss real bad," said Jared as he flew out of bed.

Jared still had his boxers on.  The boxers Jared wore had a large bulge like a tent pole sticking out the front of them as he went to the bathroom. After closing the door he took a mouthful of mouthwash as he pissed into the toilet.  Jared's thoughts were about Liam's body and he was finding it hard to piss.  He finished pissing and spit the mouth wash out. Jared left the bathroom and was almost run over by Liam in the hallway who simply said, "Me next!"  Jared laughed as he went to the kitchen and started coffee.  He turned and looked at Liam standing there, looking so sexy in his underwear. 

Jared reached out and said, "Come here."  Liam responded quickly and they were soon wrapped around each other kissing, tongues probing and hands running up and down each other's bodies. Jared cupped Liam's ass cheeks in his hands and pulled him towards himself tightly.  They could feel each other's excitement as their hardness pressed into each other through their underwear. 

"Do you want some coffee now or after?" asked Jared. 

"After.  Definitely after," answered Liam.  Jared looked at Liam playfully as he poked him in his tanned muscular stomach and said, "Last one in bed is a rotten egg."  He pushed Liam backwards and ran to the bedroom.

Just as he got to the foot of the bed, Liam grabbed him around the waist in a football type tackle and they both fell onto the bed.  They wrestled around, tickling each other and grinding their groins into each other.  Liam was on his back when Jared pounced onto him.  Chest to chest, their hard nipples sticking into the other's chest, Jared grabbed Liam's head and started to kiss him hard.  Their tongues danced with each other.  Jared started to kiss his way down Liam's neck, working his way back up to nibble at his ear as Liam groaned in pleasure.  Jared kissed his way further down to Liam's nipples.  He took the right nipple and sucked on it while manipulating the other with his fingers.  He used his teeth to gently grab the nipple, pulling on it, doing the same with his fingers to the other one. 

Liam spoke in short breaths, "Oh my God, Jared. My nipples are so sensitive; if you don't stop, I'll cum in my shorts anytime." 

Jared stopped and looked into Liam's eyes.  "We don't want that just yet, do we?" Jared said smirking.

"No, I don't want it yet, either.  Jared, I have dreamed about this and beat off so many times thinking of you." 

Jared leaned in and kissed Liam's perfect lips, enjoying the feeling. Jared kissed his way back down Liam's chest to his belly button, and twirled his tongue around it several times.  While doing this, he slowly moved his hands to each side of Liam's tented underwear.  The big and hard cock in that small underwear was ready to bust out like a jack-in-a-box.   Jared started to suck on Liam's cock through the underwear and enjoyed the sweet salty taste off the pre-cum soaking through Liam's bikini wear.  Liam was squirming and groaning under Jared's sucking and touching.  Jared gripped the underwear and pulled it off.  Liam's cock stood right up, all 9" of it.  It was beautiful and uncut.  The foreskin had pulled back to expose the big purple head leaking pre-cum like a faucet.  Jared pulled the hard cock down and let it flip back up like a spring.  The motion caused some of the pre-cum to fly and onto Jared's face. Running his fingers through Liam's bush, he licked the top of the dick, using his tongue to play with the slit.  The other hand was sliding the foreskin up and down over Liam's dickhead. Liam was groaning even deeper and squirming more.

"Jared, what're you doing to me?!" hissed Liam. 

Jared smirked just before he ran his tongue around the head a few times before he put his mouth over Liam's dick and sucked.  He kept moving so Liam's dick was going deeper into his mouth and throat.  While doing this, Jared reached up and starting playing with Liam's nipples and chest hair.  He let Liam's dick pop out of his mouth.  Jared leaned down and took one of Liam's egg sized balls into his mouth.  Once it was in his mouth, he used his tongue to play with it.  Jared took the second ball into his mouth next to the first one.  Jared was enjoying sucking on the balls while rolling his tongue around them.  Jared looked up and obviously Liam was enjoying it too.

Jared let them both slide out of his mouth and he took Liam's long hard dick back into his mouth once again.  Liam had been oozing pre-cum and the dick head was covered in it.  As Jared started to suck, more pre-cum came out of Liam's dick and the taste was intoxicating.  Jared continued to suck hard and he was now going up and down on Liam's shaft so deep his nose was at times in Liam's bush.  Jared used his hands to pinch Liam's nipples and continued bobbing up and down on Liam's hard dick. 

Liam sat up but hung his head backward calling out, "I'm cumming!"  Jared was ready and took Liam's warm, tasty essence into his mouth.  Jared was swallowing as fast as he could while savoring the taste.  Liam was having one of the most powerful orgasms of his life, shooting blast after blast of cum into Jared's mouth. When finished, Liam fell backwards onto the bed.  Jared licked his lips and swallowed the remnants of Liam's load.  Jared crawled up his body to kiss him and to let him taste his own cum. 

"Oh my God, Jared.  I've never cum like that before.  What did you do to me?" Liam asked. 

"That was all you." replied Jared.

"What about you, Jared? Can I do it to you?  I want you to know something first," said Liam. 

"What's that, Liam?" asked Jared.  Looking into Jared's eyes, Liam looked concerned about something. 

"I have only been with a couple of other people, blow jobs and mutual jacking off only.  No fucking," Liam said nervously.  "I'm not real experienced at this," he added shyly. 

"Liam, you have nothing to fear.  I have never fucked another person; fucking is a crude word.  It is the release of one person's sperm into another, usually without regard for the other's needs at the moment of ecstasy," said Jared.  He added, "I do not fuck.  I make love.  Making love is the ultimate intimacy between two people, the blending of two souls who share their life essence by seeding it into each other.  It is the ultimate act of intimacy and love.  There are other things to keep us happy until you are ready."

Liam looked into Jared's eyes and said, "I'm falling in love with you, Jared."

Jared looked at him and replied, "And I'm falling in love with you too, Liam." 

They kissed long and hard.  Liam rolled the two of them over with him on top.  "My turn, lover," he said. 

Jared just looked at him and said, "Remember practice makes perfect." They kissed gently as they wrapped their arms around each other. 

Liam broke the kiss and sat up, straddling Jared with his ass grinding into Jared's dick.  "You still have some clothing on big boy." Liam reached down and played with Jared's hard dick through his boxers.  He slid downwards on Jared's legs and pulled the last piece of clothing Jared had off with his fingers.  Liam looked at Jared lying there in his naked glory.  It was obvious Jared was naturally olive skinned but still had a light set of tan lines from what was most likely a speedo or something else skimpy he wore when outdoors.  Jared's dick was very thick and at least 9" in length.  There was only a light covering of mostly straight black coarse hairs around Jared's dick and they extended up in a beautiful treasure trail.  The hair ended at his navel and Jared was obviously naturally hairless on his tight muscular chest.  Jared's nipples were hard and sticking straight up.  Liam looked up further to see Jared's neck and face and they were smooth with very little stubble on them.  He had full lips and a cute nose.  His eyes were clear, solid sensual brown eyes.  Liam loved to look into them. 

Jared looked at Liam and smirked as he said, "Take a picture, boy.  It lasts longer." 

Liam smiled and reached forward to grab Jared's head, a hand gently placed on each side.  He kissed him long and hard thinking his tongue will never tire of wresting with Jared's.  He slid down and started to suck on Jared's nipples as one of his hands reached down and wrapped itself around Jared's dick and lightly jacked it.  Jared was groaning as Liam played with one nipple then the other and going back to the first again.  Liam slid down Jared's body until his head was right over Jared's dick.  Liam still had one hand lightly jacking Jared's dick, using Jared's own pre-cum to lube his hand.  He now moved his other hand into place to play with Jared's balls. Jared's eyes were rolled back in his head with sheer bliss.  He used his tongue to lick around the head and over it.  Jared was shivering with the sensations being given to him.  Liam moved his mouth near the top of Jared's dick and gently blew air over it.  The hairs of Jared's treasure trail stood up on end when Liam did this.  Liam continued to breathe warm air over Jared's dick and engulfed as much of the huge dick as he could in his mouth. This was the biggest and thickest dick he had ever seen let alone had ever had in his mouth.  It felt fantastic to have it in his mouth.  Jared was enjoying his dick in Liam's mouth as well.  Liam continued to suck on Jared's dick as he used one hand to slightly twist and pull at Jared's balls.  Liam began to use his other hand to jerk up and down the big dick in his mouth.  Jared stretched his arms out straight from his side and grabbed the sheets of the bed tightly.  As he did that, his legs tensed and muscles went rock solid. 

A moan and a warning came out Jared's lips saying, "I'm gonna cum." 

Liam took his mouth off Jared's dick just long enough to say, "Do it. Let me taste you," and resumed sucking and jacking. 

Jared came with so much force his cum started to squirt out of the sides of Liam's mouth.  Liam did the best he could to keep up swallowing but he couldn't.  He released Jared's dick from his mouth and the last 3 huge squirts of cum shot onto Jared's flat stomach.  Jared was now totally relaxed and laying on his bed in a good imitation of a dead man, complete with open eyes staring at the ceiling.  Liam grabbed a pair of underwear off the floor and wiped his face as well as Jared's dick and stomach.  Jared looked up at him with contentment on his face.  Liam crawled up next to Jared on his side, placing his head on Jared's chest and the two of them promptly fell asleep. 

About 2 hours later, Liam was awoken to the feel of someone tickling him.  He opened his eyes and saw Jared laying there pretending to be asleep but snickering to himself.  Liam took Jared's hand and brought it to his lips and kissed it gently. 

"Hi," Liam said. 

"Hi yourself," Jared replied.  "Coffee time now.  I really need caffeine!" as Jared got out of bed naked.   Liam watched Jared's tight little ass was moving towards the kitchen.  Liam loved the slight hairiness Jared had between the cheeks of his ass and spread down to his legs.  If you looked at his legs and followed them up, it seemed the hair was forming an arrow pointing directly at Jared's rosebud.  It was so sexy he thought as he jumped out of bed and followed Jared into the kitchen. 

They cleaned up after enjoying breakfast together.  Still naked, Jared reached out and pulled Liam into him.  They rested their heads on the other's shoulder with their bodies tight together in a hug.  After a couple of minutes Jared said, "Liam, it is time to learn about another part of me."  They parted and still naked, they went into the special room where Jared had his smudging and prayer items.

"Liam, I need to explain a few things to you. Kneel on the other side of the low table facing me," directed Jared.  Liam did so and Jared kneeled down as well. 

"This is a smudging ceremony to purge ourselves physically and spiritually. It is the healing of the mind and the body.  On the table are five pillar candles, and a clay bowl.  In the clay bowl is a smudging bundle made of sweet grass, cedar and sage.   The candles are yellow, red, black and white arranged as a diamond shape and these represent the four directions, the four seasons and the four sacred colours.  The thick pillar candle of dark green in the centre represents all creation and growth, harmony, freshness, fertility, feelings of safety and healing.  The clay bowl was made from materials given by Mother Earth; it is made from dirt, water, air and heat to fire the clay.  It is the bonding of the four basic elements given to us by the creator, and we need all four to exist."

Jared used a wooden match to light the first candle.  While doing this, he chanted, "I invoke the light within.  I am a clear and perfect channel. The light is my guide."  He did this for each of the 5 candles. 

"Liam," Jared continued, "the smudging bundle is full of sacred plants… cedar, sage and sweet grass.  We will pray to the Creator while lighting candles and burning the smudge.  The eagle feather here will be used to fan the smoke over your body.  The smoke cleanses your body and spirit while the eagle feather carries our prayers to the heavens.  Are you ready?" Jared asked Liam. 

Liam looked at Jared for a moment and asked, "Is it okay I am a Catholic by birth?"

Jared smiled and opened his hands palms out and upturned toward Liam and said, "No one's perfect," as he chuckled.

"Jared, I haven't been to church for a long time.  I'm embarrassed to say I believe in a superior being but I really don't like the structure the church was using to worship as well as some of their interpretations of the Bible."  Liam thought for a moment and continued, "There is something deep inside of me which has always guided me to do the right things in my life.  It was this inner voice or whatever which pushed me into the paramedic program and I keep thinking of it as a healer.  I'm sorry, I don't know how to describe it."

Jared reached and took Liam's hand into his.  "You're doing fine with your explanation."

Liam thought for a moment and asked, "Should we be dressed for this?"

"Liam," he continued, "We are here before the creator the way we were born and we're not hiding behind our clothing.  Open in spirit, mind and body to the Creator; it is the way we were born into this world."

Liam nodded his head.

"Maybe this will help you understand.  I am a healer in the spiritual world and I follow the path of my Grandfather who taught me many things.  He has taught me this was my path in life to follow.  My spirit guide is the Bear, the healer and with that spirit guide the Creator has granted me some abilities to correct things which need correcting or are not right.  These abilities were given to me after my vision quest I completed many years ago. I've learned to control the gifts, and I have the ability to turn them on and off, except when they come forward in my mind with a task.  Every person has a path to walk in life and make decisions as to how they travel the route.  I am sometimes in a position to help them to get back onto the correct one.  These people are like a link in a chain where that very link must function or the chain fails.  Some of these people will have a direct impact on other people, or they will set up conditions where another person does have an impact," explained Jared as he looked at Liam.

"I am considered a shaman by some, a Christian in other environments, and a spiritual leader for my tribe. The beliefs work well together and you will understand the spiritualism of the First Nations has a lot of commonalities or parallels with most of the dominant larger faiths.  After all, we were practicing our spirituality many hundreds of years before the major faiths of the dominant cultures came about.  Ours was never written down like the modern faiths, and you will learn the spiritualism the way it was taught in the beginning.  It is learned through teaching, old memories and gifts." 

Liam looked and asked, "Is this why I hear you pray each time you work on a patient?" 

"Yes, it is, Liam" Jared said. "I am just a link in the chain from the creator, a conduit for his will and nothing special. I am as human as the next person and I serve the Creator to enact what he needs. Are you ready?"

Liam nodded yes.  "We shall start now," said Jared.

Using the centre candle, he lit the smudging bundle, and tapped it slightly in the bowl until the flames were out and smoke was rising from it.  Jared stood up.  He drew the smoke with his hands towards his heart, and over his head.  He did this for each arm, over his shoulders and pushing the smoke down his back, his stomach, the groin, and each leg as well as under the feet.  While doing this, he chanted prayers which Liam immediately realized were not in English.

Jared stood up and said to Liam, "Stand with your legs apart and your arms away from your body slightly, palms facing me."  Liam complied and took the position.  Jared picked up the smudge and the eagle feather.  He began to chant again as he used the feather to push the smoke to Liam's heart. 

Jared now spoke in English for Liam's benefit, "We cleanse our hearts so that our hearts will feel the truth, grow with us in harmony and balance, be good and pure, be open to show compassion, gentleness and caring for others."

Jared said, "Use your cupped hands to pull the smoke over your head and down your back."  Liam did so.  "Stand as before," Jared said and spread smoke down the arm before moving to Liam's chest.  He spread smoke over Liam's abdomen, and groin. He used the smoke to cleanse Liam's legs.  Jared repeated the process of using the eagle feather to spread smoke down Liam's back, arms, lower back, buttocks and down each leg.  He asked Liam to raise one foot up.  The bottom of the foot was smudged and Liam got the idea to put his foot down and lift the other. 

"We cleanse our feet so that our feet will seek to walk the true path, seek balance and harmony, lead us closer to our families, friends, and community, walk closer to our loved ones, help us to flee our enemies, and lead us closer to our Creator," said Jared. 

"Please kneel as you were before, Liam," asked Jared as they both kneeled, then he continued.

"O Great Spirit whose voice I hear in the winds," as he snuffed the yellow candle.

"I come to you as one of your many children," as he snuffed the red candle.

"I need your strength and your wisdom," as he snuffed the black candle.

"Make me strong not to be superior to my brother, but to be able to fight my greatest enemy," as he snuffed the white candle.

"Myself," as he snuffed the green candle in the middle.

Jared looked at Liam and asked, "How do you feel?"  

Liam looked at him and replied, "Happy, peaceful, I can't describe what I am feeling in words.  I have clarity in my mind like never before and I feel energised.  I now understand losing the patient yesterday was just part of the life cycle.  We can't fix or save everyone.  It is the path of life." 

"That is the way it is meant to be.  You now know what it is to be cleansed," said Jared.  Jared looked at Liam and with a sly look said, "It's pretty fucking awesome, isn't it." 

Liam stared, giggled and then started laughing.  They both stood and hugged each other tightly.  Jared said, "Let's have a shower and hit the gym for a workout.  Afterwards, we need to shop for a few things including some more food." 

Jared led Liam to the shower and turned the water on, setting it to a good temperature.  The shower was a larger shower, two tiled walls and two glass walls.  There was a rainwater style shower head over the top of it, allowing the water to pour down onto the person feeling similar to a heavy summer rain.  Jared led Liam into the shower and turned to pull him for a kiss.  They stood there kissing, allowing the water to run over their heads and down their naked bodies.  Jared stepped back and grabbed the shower gel squirting into his hands.  He placed his hands onto Liam's shoulders and started to wash them.  Reaching for a face cloth, he squirted more gel into it and rubbed it all over Liam's chest and groin. 

"Hmmmm.  Something is getting hard down here," said Jared as he gently touched Liam's dick with the face cloth and washing it.  He used the face cloth to stroke up and down the growing shaft.

Jared used his other hand to toy with Liam's balls.  He stood up and looked Liam in the face and pulled him into a hug.  While they kissed, Jared began to wash Liam's ass crack with the face cloth, washing gently up and down the crack and over Liam's rosebud.  He threw the cloth down and grabbed each of Liam's ass cheeks and started to massage them.  He reached one finger up and started to circle the little muscle buried between the cheeks before sliding it in. 

"Oh Jared," Liam exclaimed as Jared was slowly inserting the finger into the very tight opening. 

"Oh yes," said Liam as he tightened his hug with Jared.  Jared toyed with Liam's asshole pushing his finger in and out very gently.  The two of them were rubbing groins and dicks together with growing abandon.  Their actions of massaging each other's bodies as well as rubbing their hard cocks into each other went on for a few minutes. The two of them were now very close to cumming.  Jared continued to grind his pelvis while fingering Liam's asshole when he felt some contractions from Liam's asshole on his finger.  Liam stood still while he came with his cum smearing between both his and Jared's bodies.  The sensation of Liam's warm cum between them and on Jared's dick was enough to push him over the edge as well.  Wave after wave of pleasure hit Jared as he came.  They both stood there, hugging tight, letting the shower water run over them.

Jared and Liam broke apart.  "Good thing the apartment building has a large water tank, eh?" said Jared. 

"We need to wash up again," laughed Liam.  They finished their shower, dried off each other and went to the bedroom. 

Liam looked at Jared and said, "I don't have any clean clothes here." 

"Although I do like the look of you running around naked, it might be frowned upon when we're in public. Luckily, we're about the same size so you can borrow some of mine," Jared said. 

"I am not wearing any of those horrible ragged boxers," Liam said with a smirk. 

Jared struck his tongue out at him.

They rummaged through the dresser drawers and found some clothing for both to wear; it took a lot longer than normal because Liam ripped two pairs of old boxers right off Jared.  There was also enough work out clothing for them both as well so they threw it into a small back pack.   It was mid-afternoon when the two of them finally left the apartment.

The two young men finished their workout and showered at the gym.  They both felt fantastic, energized and riding the wave of being in love as they went shopping.  The two of them got into Jared's vehicle and drove to the mall and wandered around aimlessly for a while until Jared saw a men's store.

Jared turned to Liam and said, "I guess that I need to buy some new underwear.  I don't want you laughing at mine anymore although I don't mind you ripping them off me."

"They are the most worn out things I've ever seen.  I just thought you have different underwear to show your assets better to me!  But again, now that we are together, I'm not sure I want you wearing anything but baggy boxers when you have to change near others in public."

"It's too late Liam!  Damage done!  I'm going underwear shopping for both of us," said Jared feigning indignation. 

"What do you mean for both of us?  Do you have a mouse in your pocket? My underwear is perfect," replied Liam as he threw his hands into the air and rolled his eyes in an exaggerated display.  "Besides that, this mall doesn't have a Goodwill, Value Village or the Salvation Army in it because that is obviously where you bought yours before."

"I did not buy them there, I just wore them out and underwear is low on my priorities.  I think those pairs were older than you."

"Jared, that's not something to be proud of."

"Besides that, now that we're together, you need boxers!" exclaimed Jared.

"Whatever," replied Liam as he began walking into the clothing store with Jared following behind him.

It was one of those stores which sold all the latest fashions, and had quite a section devoted to men's underwear.  The two of them were looking at several different styles and colours when a man approached them to ask if they needed help.

Liam looked at the man and said with a big smile on his face, "We are trying to find better underwear for this worn-out boxer wearing heathen.  Something brief and tight would be perfect for him to wear."

The man gave them both a look over and said, "Yes, I think I know what you guys would like.  There are some briefs here which accentuate your package and hug your ass.  There are also no lines shown through your pants so it looks like you're commando."

The man showed the two of them another style.  "These are a tight fitting boxer style brief with a pouch for the goods."

He reached for another type. "If you are so inclined, there is another type here which can also be used as a jock strap," he said.

The man turned towards them and said, "We also have some nice jeans which would also look good on you two.  The underwear and jeans would work well together for the bodies you guys have.  You both should be showing those bodies off while you're young."

Jared bought a dozen pairs of underwear for Liam which he selected and he also grabbed a dozen pairs for himself which Liam approved of.  The jeans they looked at were nice soft denim, mid-range rise, and were cut in such a way they showed off a person's ass.  When Liam tried on a pair and modeled them for Jared, his only comment about them was, "Woof!"

Jared tried on a pair and modeled them for Liam.  Liam came up to Jared, face to face.  He reached around to the back and felt up and down Jared's ass. 

"These feel great on you, Jared" said Liam.  Liam stepped back a bit and looked at Jared's crotch area.  It was obvious Jared was now semi-hard and the jeans made it look even better.  "I like those," he said.

The salesman was using a piece of cardboard to fan himself in an exaggerated manner.  He said, "So do I.  You both look fantastic in those jeans.  You two are so in love, aren't you?"

Liam replied, "We are very much in love."

The salesman smiled and said, "My partner and I have been together for 15 years.  I've worked at this store even longer and I have sold a lot of clothing to all kinds of people.  I have seen people in love, people who thought they were in love, lust between people and people who were tolerating each other.  You are the first two I have ever dealt with who I can feel the love radiating out of you like the heat from sunshine on a beach.  Not to mention you are both generating a lot of other heat as well." He chuckled.

The boys blushed and Liam said, "Thank you for your kind words."

They bundled up their purchases and left the store after Jared paid for it.

Outside the store, Liam said, "Jared, I want to pay for my own things.  I appreciate your generosity but you didn't have to do that because I do make good money as a paramedic.  I don't know what to say except I love you."

Jared leaned in and said, "I wanted to do this and I love you more.  Money is just money; I love to use it to make someone happy.  Plus, watching you walk around in those ass hugging jeans will be payment enough." Jared kissed him.

They locked the bags of clothes in the back of Jared's SUV.  Upon their return to the mall, Jared took Liam to a Chinese Dim Sum restaurant where they tried all kinds of different exotic dishes.  Finishing their meal and feeling like over inflated balloons, they went food shopping.  Those bags of groceries were piled in the back of the SUV as well when they were done.

They got back to the apartment and carried the goods to Jared's apartment and put it all away. Jared got a bottle of wine out and opened it.  He poured two glasses and gave one to Liam.  They went into the living room and sat together on the couch.

"This has been a wonderful day, Jared," said Liam.

"I enjoyed every minute of today not because of what we bought, but because I got to spend it with you," replied Jared. He leaned over and kissed him gently, lingering and sensually.

Liam returned the kiss with enthusiasm.  When they broke apart, Jared placed his hand gently along Liam's cheek, stroking it and taking in the soft and velvety feeling of his skin.  Jared whispered, "I have never loved anyone as much as I love you, Liam.  You are quickly becoming a very big part of my life."

Liam eyes started to water with tears.  "I didn't know loving another person could feel like it does with you.  Even when we were separated in the stores today, I was longing to be with you.  I love you unconditionally and with my total heart."

"We have it bad for each other, don't we partner," said Jared.

Jared put his arm around Liam's shoulders and pulled him tight.  Liam leaned his head onto Jared shoulder and sighed.  "This feels so right, Jared."

"It does to me too.  I would like to tell you about my grandfather if you want to hear about him," said Jared.

"Please, tell me about him.  I feel that you really have a strong connection to him the way you spoke about him at supper last night."

"My Grandfather raised me.  I was abandoned by my parents because they didn't have the space in their lives for a baby.  My grandfather was my father, my friend and my inspiration to seek knowledge of the spiritual world.  I love him so much.  The nice thing is, he comes to visit me sometimes during a smudging or sweat lodge ceremony to give me some advice, and to remind me I will always be loved by him," said Jared.

Liam spoke, "He visit's you Jared? I don't understand."

"The sweat lodge gives you a chance to commune with the spirits of people who have messages for you or you may have for them.  It's not unlike making a phone call to a specific person but it seems to me, the ones who have the most important messages come through to share them with you.  I must admit, I do not understand who is chosen to come through, but it always seems to be ones who I need to speak with," replied Jared.

"Please, tell me more about your Grandfather," asked Liam

"He is the last of the old ways. Grandfather is a healer for the people as well as a respected spiritual guide. I'm told our family has been doing it for generations and I have the same gifts or abilities as he does, to channel the Creators will into healing.  He can sense people's emotions even when they mask them.  He can really get in touch with their deepest thoughts with a touch of his hand. At times, he can modify people's thinking processes at times as well by placing or covering up preconceived thoughts with his suggestions.  He taught me all of these things, and how to control them as well.  He taught me to accept the gifts and to use them on behalf of the Creator," explained Jared.

"So you know what I am thinking, Jared?" asked Liam.

"No, Liam.  I could probably make an educated guess what is one your mind," laughed Jared. "But I have never used my gifts on you in any way.  It would have been for personal gain and I would never do it.  Don't you recall Pierre outing me and my being shocked you were gay as well as being interested in me?  I had no clue about you because I had never used the gifts."

"I'm sorry, your right.  From what I have learned about you while we worked together, you have too much integrity to have done that.  Besides, I've learned you do not lie."

Jared looked at him and kissed him deeply.  "Besides, it doesn't take a mind reader to know what you've had on your mind for the last 24 hours.  The constant bulge in your jeans doesn't need someone with a gift to recognize your thoughts."

Liam laughed, "Only with you, Jared."

"Liam, would you tell me about your life?" asked Jared.

Jared felt him tense up under his arm.  "It's hard for me Jared.  My parents were killed in a car collision on their way to see me at college.  They were great parents and like I told you before, they didn't even blink an eye when I came out.  They did warn me of the difficulties I would face, but the assured me they would support me because I was their son and they loved me.  Mom was a nurse and dad was a doctor.  They used to laugh about putting a spin on the term 'Operating Room" at the hospital.  At 13, I didn't want to hear about my parents having sex which made them laugh only harder.  We had a good life and I loved them dearly.  When I graduated from college, I moved here to start the job." Liam explained.

"What about the collision?" asked Jared.

Liam hesitated before answering.  "I was at college studying paramedicine.  I was so involved in the course I didn't get home very often to visit with them.  They offered to come up to visit; it wasn't a long trip… only an hour away.  I offered to take a break from my studying and buy them dinner if they came up to visit me."

Jared felt Liam's body shiver, and he pulled him tight into his side.  When Liam looked directly into Liam's eyes, he could see he was crying.

"You don't have to say anything else, Liam," said Jared.

"For the first time, I want to.  I want to tell you what a monster I am.  They wouldn't have been killed by the semi driver who fell asleep at his wheel if they weren't coming to see me.    The truck driver was running two sets of logbooks and been driving for 26 hours according to his satellite record.  The company wasn't shutting him down and had encouraged him to put in as many hours as possible.  He was also popping pills to stay awake.  They never had a chance," Liam was sobbing loudly.  "If I hadn't invited them for dinner, they'd still be alive.  They left our house to come and see me because I was too selfish to go visit them.  I killed them!" 

Liam got up and ran for to the door.  He started to put his shoes on but was having trouble seeing them through the tears and fell over.

"Now that you know I killed my parents, you won't want me to be near you," sobbed Liam.

Jared had moved from the couch quickly and was following Liam.  He was surprised at Liam's statement about being responsible for his parent's death.  Now he understood why Liam was reacting to the death of the man involved in the collision yesterday so personally.  He was feeling responsible for the man's death the same way he had suppressed his feelings of responsibility for his parent's deaths. He reached Liam as he fell to the floor and got down next to him, wrapping his big arms around him and pulling him in tight.  Liam was struggling at first, trying to resist, but Jared was bigger and stronger.

"Let me go, I have to leave.  You hate me now!" Liam yelled.

"Liam, listen to me.  STOP and be still," Jared said calm but firm. Jared could feel Liam's body stop struggling in his arms. 

"Listen to me, Liam.  I love you."  Liam's body went rigid, but he wasn't struggling at all.

"Did you hear me, Liam?  I love you," repeated Jared keeping Liam tight in his arms.

"Why would you say that?  I killed my parents," said Liam as his sobbing intensified. 

"Liam, look at me," said Jared.

Liam replied quickly, "No.  Let me go."

"Liam, look at me," said Jared in his very calm voice.

Liam lifted his head to look at Jared.  Jared could see Liam's beautiful blue eyes were red and swollen from the crying, but they were still beautiful.  "Liam, I need you to stay here with me and let me help you.  Listen to me, Liam, I will say this very clearly… I love you, unconditionally."

Liam looked at Jared for a long time, as if he was trying to see if what was being said was the truth.  "You can't love me. I killed my parents."

"Liam, I love you.  Let's go sit on the couch again and talk."

Jared could feel Liam's body relax in his arms.  He stood, dragging Liam up with him and over to the couch.  They sat down and Jared pulled him tight to his side. 

"Liam, we have talked of paths in life being followed throughout life.  Unfortunately, sometimes when people are diverted off their pathway it may intersect with someone else's, changing them both.  From what you have told me, it appears to me that is exactly what happened.

"You just told me they offered to come to see you and you offered to buy them supper.  Is that accurate?"


"Could they have said no for your invitation to buy supper, or made it another night?"

Liam sat and thought for a couple of minutes.  "Are you saying it was their fault?"

"No, I'm not. Could they have said no to your invitation to buy supper, or made it another night?"

"Yes, they could have."

"Were they coming before or after you offered to buy them supper?"


"Were they coming to visit you without any mention of supper and just to be with you to visit?"

"Yes, they were.  You are trying to blame them."

Jared replied softly to Liam, "Not at all.  They chose to make the trip, they chose who was driving, they chose the vehicle they were driving, chose the route and the speed to travel to mention just a few things.  They chose to travel down their pathway of life, to come and visit you of their own free will.  The truck driver made all kinds of choices as well, except his were all bad choices.  His pathway forked, and instead of sticking to the main trail he chose the fork which seemed more attractive.  His fork unfortunately resulted in a path across your parent's pathway and the results were devastating.  His choices resulted in killing two innocent people who were just following their hearts to be with the one they loved.  You did not kill them.  Do you understand, Liam?"

Liam settled back into Jared and was quiet.  "In spite of how fucked up I am, you still love me, Jared?" he asked.

Jared leaned into and kissed him long and gently.  When he broke the kiss Jared looked into Liam's beautiful blue eyes and said, "Liam, I love you unconditionally.  I am not complete without you in my life.  I love you."

Liam started to cry again.  "I don't deserve you."

Jared stood and led Liam to the bedroom.  He helped Liam get undressed and crawl into bed.  Jared quickly undressed and crawled into bed behind Liam, spooning him.  With his arms wrapped around Liam, he said into his ear, "I love you, Liam."

"I am the most fortunate man on the planet to have met you," said Liam

"Let's go to sleep and see what the next day brings.  Good night, my love," said Jared as he kissed the back of Liam's head.

Liam bent his head down and kissed Jared's arm wrapped around his chest.  "I love you, Jared.  Thank you."  Liam was emotionally and physically exhausted, and fell asleep quickly. 

While Jared was waiting for Liam to fall into a deep sleep, he thought about the crisis with Liam's inability to deal with the death and suffering he saw as a paramedic.  It had become obvious to him the real root of the problem for Liam was the suppressed memories of his parent's deaths.  He blamed himself for their deaths, and in this context, he was blaming himself for the deaths of some of the patients. 

When Jared was sure of Liam sleeping soundly, he gently moved away from him and got out of bed.  He went to his smudging room and kneeled before the bench.  After chanting prayers, lighting candles and the smudge bundle he cleansed himself with the sacred smoke.  After cleaning himself he placed the bundle back into the bowl. 

"Creator, guide my hands to do your work.  Liam has a heart and spirit which needs to be mended for him to continue on his pathway in life.  I sense good things from this man. He has a potential to achieve great things in his life and to help many, many people.  He lives for his job as a paramedic and his real potential to make a difference."

"Creator, I have promised you, and I have kept my word that I would never use your gift for personal gain or reward.  I am conflicted because I know I can help Liam, but I love him and I believe it would be for my benefit. I need your guidance, Creator, what am I to do?"  Jared continued to kneel and look into the flames of the candles in front of him.

"Creator, my heart hurts for Liam with a pain I have never experienced before. My head hurts thinking of him.  My soul longs for him when we are separate. My loneliness and pain all disappears when I am with him. I cannot allow him to continue on this path to destruction."  Jared reached out and turned his palms upward.  "I offer my life and spirit to you Creator in exchange for Liam's broken heart and spirit being healed.  I do this freely, I do this for love, and I do this to heal that man." Jared had tears slowly leaking from his water filled eyes, leaving a wet trail down his cheeks before they dropped off and onto the floor.

Jared brought his hands back towards him and positioned them on his legs.  Suddenly, the smudge bundle lit itself and started to smoke.  Jared looked at it and suddenly knew what to do.  He picked it up with the eagle feather and ran to the bedroom.  When he looked at the bed Liam was still sleeping. 

Jared pulled the sheet back and saw that Liam was lying on his back with arms and legs spread slightly.  Jared took the smudging bundle and using the sacred eagle feather he fanned the smoke over Liam's body from head to toe.  When done, Jared stood back and looked at Liam. 

Usually the smudge smoke spreads out and up throughout the entire room.  This time, it was noticeably different to Jared.  The smoke seemed to be hanging in the air, clinging close to Liam.  As he was watching, the smoke seemed to take on a slight glow, growing until it was giving a white light to the room.    Jared noticed the smoke moving around Liam's head.  It then became obvious Liam was inhaling the sacred smoke as he breathed in.  Liam's body began to glow slightly, commencing with his head.  The glow spread down into his chest and abdomen.  As the glow had passed Liam's shoulders, it had split and began traveling down each arm and to his fingertips.  Now the glow had reached Liam's hips and once again split into each leg, progressing until the tops of his toes were glowing.  The glow intensified as it encompassed Liam's entire body.  Jared saw a dark shadow rise up out of Liam's body and it disintegrated as it tried to flee.  After what felt like hours but in reality was only a few seconds, the glow and the sacred smoke which had been clinging to Liam's body was gone.  Jared pulled the sheet back up, covering Liam's sleeping form.

Jared returned to the smudging room and kneeled while placing the bundle in the bowl.  His eyes were moist, knowing he had witnessed the Creator at work.  He also knew it was time to forfeit his life and spirit to the Creator as he promised.  Jared chanted and prayed, entering into a trance. 

While in the trance, he had a vision.  Jared was seeing the same vision of the bear, the eagle and the wolves he had seen previously. The difference this time was a buffalo had joined the group.  The buffalo said to the bear he was very proud of his willingness to serve. He continued speaking to the bear and revealed to him the eagle would be his partner, and together they would serve him well as a team.  He knew the eagle's spirit was not well and it would be healed.  He must have the eagle and bear together to serve him well.  The buffalo said the offer of the bear's life force to heal the eagle was the act of ultimate sacrifice for love, but he would not accept it.  The buffalo revealed to the bear it was time to start teaching the knowledge to the eagle.  The eagle has the gift within him from many generations ago but it needs to be brought out from within him.   The sacred smoke has brought it forward, but he still needs to be taught the how to use it.  When the buffalo had finished speaking, he lifted his head up and let loose with a series of grunts, a loud reverberating mooing sound while pawing the ground.  The wolves entered the sweat lodge, followed by the bear with the eagle on his shoulder and finally the buffalo. Jared could see into the sweat lodge and the animals had taken up position around the sacred rocks inside.  Jared could also see the shadows of humans, almost a crowd size, inside the sweat lodge but he couldn't see them clearly enough to identify them. Jared came out of the trance at this point.

Jared prayed and thanked the Creator for his wisdom and his healing of Liam.  He snuffed the candles and crawled into bed. Liam was on his side again so Jared spooned behind him again.  He fell asleep quickly, feeling good being snuggled with the man he loved so much, so quickly. 

End of chapter Three

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